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well if my own soul plan is to be with someone specific, I'd just like to say I've been dragged around by my hopes that that is the case often enough to not really want to buy it any more.
And sadly because I don't want to buy it, someone is likely to come out of the noise and make it real, only, because I only see it as noise any more I won't go for it. Then they are left making inane statements like 'well if only you'd gone a little further, but now it is too late' and the old way is to go back to hope with nothing within and we'd do it all again. Jusgt for a longer period.
But nowadays I'd be sitting here thinking really, again? You want to now reinforce my wanting to hope against all hope AGAIN with this tripe and AGAIN never let the hope be actually fulfilled and AGAIN treat me badly for all the years I hope only to AGAIN come to this very same point where you can tell me off and we can start the whole thing over?
And I'd be thinking, AGAIN, 'you are just mean'.
Feeling dead is sounding pretty good, if my only alternative is to endlessly hope for things that never can possibly come to pass.
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