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yeah it is awful. So much they have that you don't, so much to be envious of... yeah fear is an aspect, i know how much hurt mine has brought to me in the past. And that I'm not capable of stopping her if she chooses to do it again.
I also have problems because I want to know once and for all how to relate to her for all time so I can be safe and won't have to hurt any more. I'm also a bit of a control freak if you get me going.... Which apparently part of the point is that I can't have such things...
I'm only at the beginning of understanding my own role in this.... still awful no matter how you slice and dice it though...
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