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Certain things start to come together more and more in my understanding.
I've discovered that in many situations I go straight into freeze, not fight or flight.
To get out of freeze it's important to do bodywork as in moving, tapping your knees, stamping your feet and so on as freeze is also disconnect from the body.
It is a limbic brain reaction to something.
The other day a therapist mentioned that action, martial arts, and so on could be good, and now another therapist also came up with that.
I'm beginning to see where my love for martial arts comes from! I've always wondered about that.
But I guesstimate that I intuitively went for something that made me feel connected, empowered, in my body etc.
Apart from that it made me feel stronger, like I could handle situations since I was able to defend myself if need be. That sense I have missed so often due to what happened in the past and getting overwhelmed, bullied, neglected and so on.
Martial arts did give me that feeling.
I remember how gutted I was when I could no longer practice is due to back problems. It seriously dented my self-confidence and self-esteem.
Now I understand even better why.
Finally having a means to feel empowered, to not go in freeze, feeling and knowing I could handle it, and then it went out the window, leaving me with nothing.
Maybe there is a clue for my physical ailments as I felt so disappointed and let down by my body. It affected me greatly, I felt like a fish out of the water, choking, helpless, scared. Back at the mercy of others.
I think I blamed my body so much that I began withholding love for it...
Wowza, much of that came up as I was writing.
Going to copy/paste that to my notes, hihi.
In any case, I'm now wondering what brainwaves would go with the freeze state.
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