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I understand what you are describing, although I'm not sure it helps anyone, because they will have a conceptual idea they are trying to achieve, i.e. what you describe. This can be like chasing the rainbow which ever recedes. If one is aware here and now lives life accordingly, lives in the moment, things fall into place and the seeker begins to loosen it's hold as a natural process, and what unfolds, if it is what you describe, unfolds naturally without striving for some idea of it.
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