What kind of a narcissist is she and how to keep the power

[Guff779]

So between 2015-2012 my sister didn't wish to talk to me and spoke back with one word.

Even after that for years she spoke to me angrily and reacted to me angrily.

She put me down a lot over the years.

She bossed me and my father on Saturdays.

She does twist things.

She said "why do I want to know what music is playing" on the TV. When she had knowledge of it.

She acted emotionally a few times.

She tells info about me easily when others secretly ask.

She got angry about something the other time.

She said she can't get a proper wedding. Why splash out 50k on a wedding and a party which is up to her, she didn't need a party.

I did feel she lacked integrity.

She made me cry a few times.

She's got everything mind you.

Why doesn't she says people asked about this and that about me?

I reported a relative to the police twice, who could get a warning.

She didn't care before.

She didn't say nothing to that relative, thus not standing up to me.

She can't even say that relative would get a warning to that person or others.

Doesn't she say nothing?

She said

"If you have an issue, you talk to him"

"It's all in my head"

"Let's get all the family involved"

She seems controlling

She got angry before

She didn't care, wasn't going to say anything. Lacked empathy, compassion. No support. Left me to my own devices. Gifted the relative the power.

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She disrespected me saying I wish to work for myself, I've been saying that for years.

Then she says publically anything, could keep things quiet

They may try to have a discussion with various things in my life, however it's up to me isn't it? It's a private matter and none of my business

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When my father jokingly criticised my sister to the uncle, she kicked the door hard after he left.

What do you say with regards to her conduct, attitude and what kind of a narcissist is she. I think she is selfish

[DaneA]

There are ways to deal with narcissism if that's what it is. (I'm a little suspicious at the overuse of the word. Some people are just extrovert or unjustifiably bossy).
There are ways to deal with it.

One is to ignore the anger or delivery of a narcissistic 'attack'. If one replies at all, do so with calm and politeness.

Do not justify yourself if that's demanded. If insulted, ignore it.

Be boring (which is the same as contributing nothing in an exchange). The offender will soon lose interest.

Do not obey any orders. If necessary just say 'no' or 'I'll do that when I'm ready', otherwise ignore

Leave the room if necessary.

In short, don't allow them to control you or your situation. It may need patience and calm at first but once a narcissist knows they can't control a person they start directing their energies at someone else.

[Guff779]

Originally Posted by DaneA

There are ways to deal with narcissism if that's what it is. (I'm a little suspicious at the overuse of the word. Some people are just extrovert or unjustifiably bossy).
There are ways to deal with it.

One is to ignore the anger or delivery of a narcissistic 'attack'. If one replies at all, do so with calm and politeness.

Do not justify yourself if that's demanded. If insulted, ignore it.

Be boring (which is the same as contributing nothing in an exchange). The offender will soon lose interest.

Do not obey any orders. If necessary just say 'no' or 'I'll do that when I'm ready', otherwise ignore

Leave the room if necessary.

In short, don't allow them to control you or your situation. It may need patience and calm at first but once a narcissist knows they can't control a person they start directing their energies at someone else.

Thank you for these insights.