I have dreams about the afterlife...

[militaryrodent954]

I was born on Friday the 13th, and I think that being transgender, autistic, bullied, no friends, vegetarian, strict parents, daddy/mommy issues and in care is all connected to that. So is the dreams. I've had weird dreams all of my life, such as dreams from age 3 of tiny yellow arms oozing out of air vents in a car, dreams at age 4 of being in the backseat of a car moving without a driver and in front of me was a robot designed to play music,
dreams at age 7 of a kid's toy supposed
to aid drawing and other creative activities but was in fact evil and wanted to eat me alive and cause me to shrink and walk around tubes in a hollow brightly coloured tiny ball for eternity, dreams at age 7 of my cousin giving me two presents and then leaving the house to go for a walk rendering me unchaperoned and I eventually opened one of them and teleported to my aunt's house (where I temporarily moved to at age 5 after my father died) and a robot came out of the box holding my wrists tightly and
I could not let go and it was dragging me into the black void, and dreams at age 8 of a group of humanoid puppies travelling to the bottom of the ocean in a submarine but getting trapped there for eternity (I find it creepy how this was some time in 2014, so it may have coincided with the MH370 missing plane).

When I was a child I had weird dreams once in a blue moon, by age 14 or 15 a few times a month, by age 17 three to five times a week, but at age 18 pretty much every night (and I wake up 4-8 times throughout the night and go back to sleep, and need around 10 hours as contrasted with the usual 8 that most people necessitate).
I remember believing in Roman Catholicism until age 12 or 13, when I started to become nihilistic (perhaps due to depression), but I think I have became a lot more religious since the nightmares have increased.
Since the age of 15 (the age in which I started smoking cigarettes, and developed an interest in true crime) I have been getting dreams telling me that the afterlife does indeed exist and that it is an eternal black void full of torture.
I think that Heaven and Hell do exist, although they are nothing like how they are portrayed in films, books, art, religious texts, etc.
I think that they are physical three-dimensional realms with distinctive aesthetics although I think the former is a magnolia-coloured robot world with simple bright colours and many lines and holes, and the latter is a colourless black void where sinners are tortured for eternity (or maybe I could be wrong, maybe Heaven and Hell have no dimensions or more than three dimensions, I don't know yet). I get dreams telling me that if I do certain actions I will go to the black void after death. These actions include: taking drugs recreationally (including nicotine and caffeine), dying your hair or getting tattoos and piercings or applying fake tan (because it is a manifestation of vanity), being LGBTQ+ (because it is tampering with the way god wants everyone to be. I disagree with that and I support gay and transgender rights but I fear I will suffer an unpleasant afterlife by believing that), being a goth, being neurodivergent, eating meat (I decided to become a vegetarian), and more.

I also get insights about what happens in the afterlife, such as how certain sinners get "fuziformized", they lie in what appears to be a tanning bed which slams two large pillars onto their physical form (excluding the head) and the flesh, muscles, bones and organs all melt and disintegrate and blend into the material and all that is left is nerve endings exposed to extremely high temperatures for eternity, and that anyone in the black void who tries to "rescue" a fuziformized person so to speak will inevitably get fuziformized themselves.
I try to seek support from trusted people in educational environments, etc. One of the members of staff at college I really like and when I spoken to her about my anxiety about the afterlife she told me that I will probably have a rather pleasant afterlife because I am a nice person and that only very nasty people go somewhere bad. However last night I had a dream about her, if she approached me and stared right at me and I imagined within the dream that evil humanoid robot thing I've been encountering in nightmares since the age of 10, suggesting that this woman I admire and speak to in real life is in fact work of the devil and will go to the black void when she dies. Something similar happened with another person I spoken to at the kid's home.

She is Chinese and believes in reincarnation and told me that she believes in reincarnation because it's comforting for her, and then I started having creepy dreams involving her such as her driving me into the ocean and then dying.
I have more to elaborate on, but I am running out of time. Why do I have these dreams? How come I remember having such weird disturbing dreams even before anything traumatic happened (e.g. father dying at age 5, which wasn't that traumatic in the first place considering I was too young to develop a bond with him)? Does anyone else have similar dreams?