Can we learn our soul lessons from life incidents?

I have heard this several times that we come here to learn what we have not learned in other lives; so a person reincarnates again and again to learn lessons, and they keep repeating life after life if i do not learn, for example to learn about compassion i face many situations and circumstances, but if i dont learn, when i die and reincarnate again i will be put in circumstances where i need to learn them..

well my question is how do i find what is that i need to learn, i do face many situations at work, at home everyday i face many challenges big, small, they all are very different, how do i know what lesson i learnt or not?