Feeling lost...

[Khalli]

I know what feeling lost is all about. Kinda fun, never boring and sometimes very frustrating.

I was not religious (still not), nor spiritual at the time I had my awakening so imagine my surprise when it happened. Lots of new thoughts and behavior now, almost like I developed a new personality. It was like someone flipped a switch and everything at once was turned on.

And now just when I think I have accepted this new me, the Universe throws me a curve ball with life. With the timing it shows me it has a sense of humor too.

I do know why this has occurred to me this year. My Wife has a genetic condition where Her immune system tries to kill Her.
1986 2 weeks in the hospital and a year to recover.
1996 42 days in the hospital and almost 3 years to recover.
2006 8.5 months in the hospital, 3 months in a coma and has never been the same.

So far 2016 has been good and never boring, but, waiting on the main event.

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by dreamextremes

I recently had an awakening experience. It's been wonderful and overwhleming, but now I am starting to feel lost again...

I can only say what happened to me.
I have had a lot of "awakenings" but was never able to "stay" there.
Now I see how I lost it.
In one event, I became absolutely terrified, gave in and surrendered, a "spiritual" entity came and entered me, my fear completely went away and I felt "saved", the terrifying event seemed funny and comical, I acted in a totally different and better way than "usual", the event ended and I was very soon right back to being my normal, confused and unhappy self while the euphoria I just felt and had slowly or quickly WENT AWAY!
I have often puzzled over how such a glorious and mystical or magical thing could happen to me and then suddenly be gone. It felt so good and real that I was sure it would last for the rest of my life but no, it somehow faded away leaving me just as miserable and unhappy as ever! These are called "glimpses" but I'd call them "painful teases"!

Just recently I found the answer which goes something like this:
I, the ego, found myself in a terrifying circumstance and I, the ego, became frozen in terror and gave in or surrendered after which a higher self arrived and entered my body which displaced my ego with a Real Me. Now, as the Real me, I was able to face and deal with the horrific event as though it was a piece of comedy and got through it all with flying colors. I, the Real me then allowed the ego to come back in while I, the Real, stepped into the background. So my ego returned, brought me down again and I (the ego) found myself just as blue, confused and unhappy as before which then went on for several YEARS AFTERWARDS!
The pattern is so obvious to me now!
I (the ego) found myself in trouble and surrendered. I (the Real) came to the rescue and made it all OK. Then I (the Real) unwittingly allowed the ego back into the picture and I (the ego) continued on from there while I (the Real) calmly waits in the background to step up and save me (the ego) at the next stressful event.
LOL, this loss of ego thing has sometimes happened on happy occasions too but usually during terrifying or stressful ones.
So my conclusion is, that if I want to be in a state of grace or happiness, I need to drop or lose the ego and I will instantly be back into the Wonder.
For now, my method is to watch for my troubled ego as much as I can and either dismiss it or STOP believing in it so it can't overwhelm me and make life miserable again.
good luck losing the ego and staying with and as the Real.