My life story of trauma and misery

[Baile]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

Joy and meaning in our lives actually comes through a different faculty of our brains and not simply the faculty known as "thought."

So this would also apply to the joy and meaning (significance) in one's life. This too relies on a faculty independent from our thinking alone. It relies on a perception that our thoughts alone cannot give us.

Well you're speaking to the Joy King, and I can tell you that you're absolutely on the right track. Joy is a higher-self expression and does not come from the lower-self faculties. You are very astute. Perhaps all you need is to get a handle on how to manifest higher-self Joy in your life. That's a longer conversation. But I can say this: my higher-self awareness kicked into gear during my Saturn Return, age 28-29. So maybe this is all going to sort itself out naturally for you.

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

The difference here is that these people said that the mental state they were in during their time of misery was a state where they still had joy and meaning in their lives. Their misery inspired their works of art and inspired other things. But the state I was in was completely different from that. The state I was in was a state of absolute hell where all joy and meaning was completely gone. That is obviously a far worse state to be in than one where you still have joy and meaning in your life despite being in a state of misery.

You assume they never put in any effort to make something of their misery. Misery doesn't inspire art and it's not required for it, people who are going through misery and know how to create art are able to make something good come of their misery.

It sounds to me like you never figured out a good use for your misery, there was no outlet except perhaps here on this forum and a few other people who would listen. Consequently you believed nothing good ever came from it because you never saw the fruit of anything, but did you put effort into anything is the question.

It sounds to me like you didn't put in any effort to make your situation better and you got some kind of pleasure out of how hellish and miserable it was.

[shivatar]

Honestly bud it sounds like you are trying to tell people how the world works but you're just telling them what you believe.

Ask a scientist and he'll say science is his religion, naturally they are going to tell you things that are in line with what they research. And if you look into it, the power of the mind in science is more or less regarded as psuedo-science, therefore I don't think you are going to hear many happy stories about how a person with a depressed brain managed to turn their thinking around.

That never has very good results, people aren't going to believe what you believe simply because you show them the evidence that got you to believe it. Not everyone believes brain states arise from neurobiology, ESPECIALLY not everyone on a spiritual forum. lol.

---

So far all I've heard is "woe is me", not "how do I turn this situation around"

so yeah, if you always look for "how bad is my situation?" it's not a big suprise that the search results are going to say "bad, worse, not so bad".

[MattMVS7]

Originally Posted by shivatar

You assume they never put in any effort to make something of their misery. Misery doesn't inspire art and it's not required for it, people who are going through misery and know how to create art are able to make something good come of their misery.

It sounds to me like you never figured out a good use for your misery, there was no outlet except perhaps here on this forum and a few other people who would listen. Consequently you believed nothing good ever came from it because you never saw the fruit of anything, but did you put effort into anything is the question.

It sounds to me like you didn't put in any effort to make your situation better and you got some kind of pleasure out of how hellish and miserable it was.

I tried my best, but that did nothing to give any value to my life. I already explained that the faculty that allowed me to perceive my life as joyful and meaningful was shut down. So it didn't matter what I did; my life could never be perceived as joyful and meaningful as long as that faculty remained turned off.

So I had to wait until that faculty was restored in order for my life to be perceived as joyful and meaningful (significant) once again. That miserable state I was in was the absolute worst state and there is no possible way I could of taken any pleasure, joy, or meaning in any of it. The only way for me to turn the situation around (to make my life significant once again) was to wait it out until that faculty could get fully restored once again.

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

I tried my best, but that did nothing to give any value to my life. I already explained that the faculty that allowed me to perceive my life as joyful and meaningful was shut down. So it didn't matter what I did; my life could never be perceived as joyful and meaningful as long as that faculty remained turned off.

So I had to wait until that faculty was restored in order for my life to be perceived as joyful and meaningful (significant) once again. That miserable state I was in was the absolute worst state and there is no possible way I could of taken any pleasure, joy, or meaning in any of it.

Honestly I'm not buying it. I've experienced hell on earth and I made something good out of it, even if all I took away from it is "wow, I can survive hell" or "wow, I survived, if that ever comes back again I won't be afraid because I know I'll be able to handle it, even if it comes back worse".

It doesn't seem like much, but it's enough to get me from thinking "wow, i hope to God i never experience anything like that again!!" which is not an empowering thought. to "I'll be alright no matter what I experience, because I can take care of myself and my brain", which is an empowering thought that lowers anxiety.


thinking things like "theres no way I could have done anything", has a subconscious thought tied to it "I"m weak, I can't protect myself" or "my brain is trying to fight me, I can't win against my self" or "i can't protect my self against my brain" etc. etc.

It's just a root thought that is not empowering, causing us to think not empowering things, then we avoid taking action when we could have, then we suffer physically and mentally.

I'm not denying that it feels like what you think, I'm saying there is more to the story than what you can percieve.

[MattMVS7]

Originally Posted by shivatar

Honestly I'm not buying it. I've experienced hell on earth and I made something good out of it, even if all I took away from it is "wow, I can survive hell" or "wow, I survived, if that ever comes back again I won't be afraid because I know I'll be able to handle it, even if it comes back worse".

It doesn't seem like much, but it's enough to get me from thinking "wow, i hope to God i never experience anything like that again!!" which is not an empowering thought. to "I'll be alright no matter what I experience, because I can take care of myself and my brain", which is an empowering thought that lowers anxiety.


thinking things like "theres no way I could have done anything", has a subconscious thought tied to it "I"m weak, I can't protect myself" or "my brain is trying to fight me, I can't win against my self" or "i can't protect my self against my brain" etc. etc.

It's just a root thought that is not empowering, causing us to think not empowering things, then we avoid taking action when we could have, then we suffer physically and mentally.

I'm not denying that it feels like what you think, I'm saying there is more to the story than what you can percieve.

You attribute joy and meaning (significance) to your way of thinking. But you must understand here that this is not the case. I explained that significance in our lives comes through a different faculty than our thinking alone. I gave an example with how my favorite songs became nothing more than insignificant streams of noise and how thinking to myself that these songs are still significant did nothing. Thinking that your life is significant and actually perceiving your life as significant are two different things just as how thinking that you can see is different than actually seeing. Therefore, this says that the significance in our lives does not come through our way of thinking alone. It instead comes about through a different faculty (a faculty that was shut down during my time of misery).

My absence of significance in my life during my time of misery was not due to my way of thinking alone; it was due to the altered state I was in due to my misery which shut down that faculty of my brain that allowed me to perceive my life as significant. When you are in an altered state, your way of thinking alone cannot get you out of it. You instead have to wait until the altered state can restore itself back to normal.

[CelestialSphere]

It is possible to find joy in life again, it is hard but trust me it is possible simply believe in it. Thats how i started...slowely every day i tried to find something at a day that i liked and with everyday i found something more. I know what it means if your "life" is taken from you. I was almost 2 decades abused of my parents, didnt knew what it means a life without that pain. One day i got the strength to break away, had a mental break down and wasnt able to live on my own. I was scared to social contact since i was kept of every outside contact eccept school but i was hideing it because i was scared. I was even scared to leave a house since every enfluence of it was just to much to me. I was in mental heath care for several years where even hope was given up that my state ever could become better. Yeah might not be the happiest person out here but who is it?! Believe me none. There is no perfect life especially no life without pain. I could cry now every day of my broken life but i dont, yet there are phases of grief of course i admit but there are these days i can experience satisfaction and peace of mind to. I told myself every day and still do every morning im awake : today is a good day. Before sleeping: tomorrow will be the best day of my life. Put every expectations aside a day might bring because this thougt may change your life, how you see and perceive it. There are so many things to be greatful for hence it is just a smile of the casheer of your groggery store etc. If you just think of the pain and injustice which has been caused within you, you will become the man8festation of it and live trough it again and again as a nightmare which never ends. You only you can end it, if you allow yourself to accept the pain and trying to make the best with that is left. Even with briks you still can build, maybe not the biggest tower but a stable fundament of a building which can stand its storm.

[firstandlast]

Few will agree with me here-- I am aware; but do you know the nature of stealing fire from the gods?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus

Inspiration does not require suffering; but to create at this point does--

Crossing the abyss is specifically this; to undo the given meanings of circular reference established in the world, to cross the dark meaningless world, and find a spark that is beyond the realm of enlightenment, it is to find a light that shines beyond yourself-- That is, it is a great sacrifice to cross the abyss, but this is the true goal of every sorcerer and shaman; to eliminate meanings that unconsciously effect everything you do, in order to bring new meaning in and a different course of action in the world that has real world effects--

That is, everyone likes to think meanings that are personal remain that way; but this is not at all the case, if you have a meaning in this world that no one else has (looking in new perspectives) even mundane actions have an energetic effect that crash upon the world and cause chain reactions--

To be in a truly meaningless world, is to give rise to the creator within; not just to arrange matter into new arrangements of manifestation; but to bring arrangements that could not have existed unless certain actions were taken, and these certain actions can only be taken by those whom see the action to take--

So, while others may try to inspire you with the same level of healing that has already brought into this world (which is really important as well, do not think I put down), I say cross the abyss onward and steal fire! Bring a greater bliss to mankind and the universe in general--

Cuz the person who experiences joy and serves the world, steals joy from the world and brings a greater peace or stillness-- But few know how to bring bliss into the waves that MOVE the world--

Enlightened people take what already is and calm the waters; illuminated people move the waters in greater ways-- And with that, and during these times comes with a major price; though it won't always be that way, as more are able to bring greater bliss masses and illuminate the ways beyond those things already stumbled upon--

But such a thing must come from the bottom up, or else suffer the limitations of the top down thinking-- Some people try to see the bigger picture, some people become the picture--

[firstandlast]

That being said; I am saying weave something with your experience, don't abandon yourself and your own efforts in spiritual matters--

[firstandlast]

This is coming from the point of would kill myself if I didn't already know my own immortality; just so you know--