My situation: might as well tell everyone else...

Originally Posted by Wild Card

Take mine too. Maybe they are triplets.

Make that quadruplets.

[aubreyiris]

Originally Posted by able12

Don't think I will ever see mine in the flesh again either. It feels impossible and sometimes being hooked in this thing makes me feel like banging my head against the wall. Blessing and a curse is right. It is beautiful and magical but it is...unresolved.
Ultimately, do we really have complete free will in this instance?

I believe in free will in that in every situation we are faced with we get to choose our reaction. We can react with love and truth and tolerance or we can react with deceit and hatred and bitterness. I don't think we can force something to happen that is not meant to be though. I think that what we can change is internal. I see so many people (including myself at times) trying to force a relationship with their TF, but it doesn't work. For myself I thought, "why keep knocking my head against this wall? Isn't it better to just let go and live my life with peace of mind, and be grateful for what I have?" Who knows maybe the Divine (whatever you will call it, God, Buddha, Jesus) will throw us into each others path again. Then I will gladly accept that, but I just can't force it.

Ooh questions! I love questions!

1. You wanted it and were ready for it.
2. You did, because you wanted to.
3. Because you didn't want it to. Them being unavailable to you was a reflection of you being unavailable to them.
4. So that you wouldn't be able to write off the experiences easily.
5. Coming together matches desire of those involved.
6. Protection implies a sense of stopping something from happening. This is more like viewing the same thing happening, but in a different way.
7. On a soul level, she will reflect you perfectly. In the physical world, there is still a sense of separation. She still thinks she is just her. Maybe not entirely, but this is what will cause the discrepancy between you two. Also, look for what you are denying, and hiding.

Your journey with #7 reminds me a lot of my own journey. Don't believe the words. Don't believe the actions. Don't believe anything. Look deeper. She will be communicating with you in her own way. She will be looking for you to understand these messages, and communicate back to you in a similar way. That's her way of knowing when you're both ready.

[John Elessar]

Originally Posted by Wild Card

Would you not be happier not having the connection at all?

I'd be dead, or medicated up in a psychiatric hospital. At best, I'd be in some dead-end job I hate, still tormented by my old demons, insecure, miserable. If I hadn't been found by this nature spirit (of whatever origin).....I shudder to think about it for too long.

Originally Posted by frenchbread

I think your twin is like my twin: full of ****, lies and make believe.
Maybe they are twins.

If I were to speculate (if...) I'd bet that she had a fantasy relationship with me for years in her head. I know I did for her, back in the day. During most of this tho I haven't fantasized about her much at all-find it to be hopeless waste of time, tho I do let my mind drift on occasion.

Appreciate all of the responses gang. Gotta stay in my Present Moment Mode for the foreseeable future.

[wstein]

Wow, that's a lot of drama.
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You can't make anyone be ready. If they are not ready, they can't accept it. Doesn't matter how good, bad, ordinary, or extraordinary it might be. Acting as if its any other way only causes strain and eventually damage.

[John Elessar]

Eh, not really, and what is there is coming to a close.

The hardest thing...in the depths of my despair years ago I fantasized about transforming myself and becoming the person she would have wanted me to be, the Perfect Man for her, tho at the time that was the pipe-iest of all pipe dreams and I had absolutely no idea how to pull it off. But I had always assumed that, if I did, her growth would have perfectly paralleled mine. Never did I ever suspect or imagine that I would end up becoming the ready one while she regressed.

One day, doubtless cloudless bright, we'll finally synch up like mad, and it will be wonderful.



I do want to solicit opinions on the soul split thing-does the stuff which has happened to me need something more "proactive" and immediate, or can it all just be manifestations of the connection, per se? But in the end there is only one soul, right? And maybe it flew from her to me, or something?

"And then, if she is indeed my twin, why has she been in 100% denial and hiding mode for almost a solid year now? Even the most fragile and shyest of runners typically give you more than the solid wall of nothing that she has given me" JE

John, am half way reading; everything you have experienced in my view is 100% fact. I am a runner and I have not 'shown' or 'rarely expressed' much to Twin Flame at all x 13 years. There are reasons for this. I wish to keep reading your Thread and Posts; shall explain later.

Fast forward 30 years, she doesn't recognize my voice at her concert last December (or so she wanted me to think...), the familiarity is absent-except when she sang, when it came rushing back full force, treats me a bit distantly, the way we interacted years ago was simply not there anymore [JE].


Oh she remembers alright; its not pride, its insecurity; both internally and externally,

Love and kindest wishes John

Eh-rantings of a madman perhaps yes. I don't feel insane (I know what that feels like believe me)-would a madman feel this happy? Draw in all sorts of wildlife and people I can relate to (albeit mostly students of mine)? Feel fully informed and blessed by something which has gone way out of its way to do so? [JE]


No definitely not John; anyone in tune with God's most beautiful Nature is more sane than others who do not stop to enjoy His Nature!

For the record John I believe it all and further 'know' John that all of your experiences have been and are through God. He wanted you Healed and He wants you and your Twin Flame united in the physical; you are already united in Spirit.

God used all of the signs and experiences you have gone through; in particular His Egret John,

Love and kindest wishes

Love and kindest wishes

And her worldly counterpart-explains the denials and lies and hidings-she may very well have thought she was being 100% truthful with me, and my reply letter of challenge didn't do a durned thing to awaken her to the truth here, instead simply confirmed in her mind that I am "obsessed" and "stalking" her (yes she accused me of same in said email). I'll just note that she claimed a strange form of amnesia which essentially whitewashed away all of the stuff we had done years earlier" [JE]


My Twin Flame has followed me around (remember it is "us" "our" Souls) for 13 years John and never has he 'stalked me' just watched out for me and remained in contact because this is our only mode of contact for a couple of reasons.

Your Twin Flame knows that you have not stalked her. This is her defence wall in order for her to guard the barrier around her Heart and Soul until she opens up to God and heals from her past.

Love and kindest wishes JE xx