Acquaintances are Better than Friends

[Altair]

Not sure how peoppe are all helping one another here, making the points others make and turn them into extreme positions. For instance, having friends or pets doesn’t mean being “dependent”, nor “attached” in some unhealthy way, neither does being alone or preferring to be alone means there’s some grand issue.

Consider me disappointed, guys. This forum can be quite divisive.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Altair

Not sure how peoppe are all helping one another here, making the points others make and turn them into extreme positions. For instance, having friends or pets doesn’t mean being “dependent”, nor “attached” in some unhealthy way, neither does being alone or preferring to be alone means there’s some grand issue

The voice of wisdom
I'm not surprised The Buddha taught 'The middle way'....

[sky]

[Originally Posted by Maisy]
'But then one can get all the "love" or contentment they need from within themselves
and not be dependent on some other person or animal for that.'

Everything comes from within.....

[Redchic12]

Gem……..”and usually, people who "opt" for a more isolated existence have hangups that impede them from having close relationships”

So I was just wondering, does this statement also apply to you, seeing that you live alone.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

hangups that impede them from having close relationships” does this statement also apply to you, seeing that you live alone.

Yes. I have hangups that make me socially awkward, so I don't have close friends or girlfriends etc., but I have a small group I started from the gym that catch up with for chai every so often, and I get on great with my siblings.

I just think the idea that spiritualists 'opt' for a solitary life is probably a good story they tell themselves to feel better about the real reason they don't have closeness in their lives. Of course in some rare cases people want to retreat for spiritual work, but generally speaking, people who say that aren't really opting for it, but have some issues that get in the way of having meaningful relationships.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

Gem……..”and usually, people who "opt" for a more isolated existence have hangups that impede them from having close relationships”

So I was just wondering, does this statement also apply to you, seeing that you live alone.

I know plenty of people who choose an isolated existence and don't have any 'hangups' at all. I surpose there are those who choose to isolate themselves because they do have 'hangups' deem others to be the same as themselves with similar reasons for there choice which obviously is not true. We are are all different and have various reason to choose our lifestyles... One size doesn't fit all. I personally enjoy a bit of both

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Gem

Yes. Of course in some rare cases people want to retreat for spiritual work, but generally speaking, people who say that aren't really opting for it, but have some issues that get in the way of having meaningful relationships.

Yes there’s always a reason as I see it. Whether it’s overwhelm, too sensitive, socially awkward, can’t find kindred sameness, lots of stuff … some even opt for online because it’s easier to manage yourself and people, without too much interference or need to be too open.

I think in general people need balance so I think online satisfies people’s needs when it’s not present in their real life.

[Maisy]

I remember reading the story of a woman who was friendless and had no one really in her life due to various circumstances, she was horribly lonely and alone and she went to a past life reader/medium and the psychic told her she chose this life because in past lives she was too dependent on others and she wanted to learn how to be ok alone. She said knowing the reason for her aloneness helped her a lot and also knowing it was temporary for this incarnation only.

It's interesting the idea we may choose "bad experiences" or bad situations on purpose for our next incarnation to learn something or help ourselves learn something.

Like I think owning a pet or being in relationships is not a good or bad thing or really says much at all. I think it's more about our experience with such things. Like one person can have a wonderful experience with a pet, others can have horrible ones. One person can find someone who loves and nurtures them and another may end up with an abusive person.

Like I'd say close friends are better than anything! A loving pet too. But then if all the people in your circle or life are abusive in various ways you may be better off a hermit. Some people are extremely close to their parents their whole lives and others end those relationships at 18 years old and never contact them again. Everyone has a unique life and unique experiences I think though with 8 billion people here one could probably find someone with similarities.

[JustBe]

@Maisy
I think learning in life can be moment to moment. Shifts and change can break through old paradigms and ideas about one’s life. People settle into comfort zones. Wear the same clothes, same colours, eat the same foods and rarely break through their normal reality.

I’ve got friends who still live in the past in their environments. Hold onto everything.

People generally who stay stuck in patterns, generally feel they can’t be any different or at times they are too stubborn to change.

In my reality hearing the story if that woman you mentioned, is a temporary arrangement and she can change her reality at any given time if she so chooses. Giving reason to what has been for her doesn’t mean she can’t decide to change her world. This reading, doesn’t mean her reality is set in stone. It simply implies one reason of one choice. There are numerous reasons and numerous choices..

New awareness, new environments, new people.. it’s all potential occurring in every moment of life. Limited ideas about your life as to why one lives, can be viewed through any lens, yet the totality of life lens shows reality is much bigger than that alone.

[Redchic12]

Gem. I choose to live alone and don’t seem to have any hang ups and I have three very good long term friends who don’t seem to have any hang ups either. In fact I would say they are the kindest, sincere and well balanced people that I have ever met.

So I have to disagree with your comments.