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15-07-2022, 07:25 PM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,813
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Waters
An interesting phenomenon with PNSE experiences is that most participants noted that they could not really talk about their experiences with those in their life. Either the others were not interested or it triggered worries because others could not understand what was "wrong". The result was that the subject was rarely brought up again.
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Good afternoon Still_Waters
Something I learnt at a early age, tell others what they want to hear.
Saves on a lot of strife and headache's
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Have fun and enjoy
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16-07-2022, 12:55 AM
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Master
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 4,569
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muffin
Good afternoon Still_Waters
Something I learnt at a early age, tell others what they want to hear.
Saves on a lot of strife and headache's
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I've learned to listen more and talk less. Indeed, that "saves on a lot of strife and headaches". One generally learns more by listening than by talking.
One of my friends was amazed that a very difficult person had said that I was a "brilliant conversationalist". My friend asked me how I managed to have such a good conversation with this person for an hour. I said that, during the hour, I barely spoke but just allowed her to vent on her favorite subject --- herself. That's what made me a "brilliant conversationalist" --- listening.
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16-07-2022, 07:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Waters
I've learned to listen more and talk less. Indeed, that "saves on a lot of strife and headaches". One generally learns more by listening than by talking.
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One of my takeaways from holding my tongue when I really want to say something is learning more about all the junk that bubbles up from the subconscious as its deterministic nature is formulating responses based on past experience and conditioning, some in agreement and some in disagreement.
In effect it's exactly like attending breath, noticing distracting thoughts arise and gently returning to breath. It's "witnessing" the conversation from a different perspective, a more real perspective, and analyzing one's own thoughts as dispassionately as the other's vocalization of their thoughts.
How many times do we feel so right about what we say in the moment, only to regret it later? How hard is it to own up to our own contribution or empathize with the other's contribution? It's even more challenging in the moment.
I'd say the most useful first tool in any spiritual path is one that brings about clarity of mind. One that concentrates a scattered mind. It's foundational.
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16-07-2022, 11:00 AM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,813
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Waters
I barely spoke but just allowed her to vent on her favorite subject --- herself.
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Been there. I was at pub at the time with all the noise that goes with it. Only I didn't speak, I got lost in her eyes instead.
An interesting place to go, if just for the silence alone
And yes to the listening more
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Have fun and enjoy
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17-07-2022, 06:04 PM
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Master
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 4,569
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I may be a little absent for a few days as I just took a 3-4 month old street kitten to the vet and brought her home after a healthy checkup. She's adjusting to her room right now and I will soon introduce her to the other 2 cats in the house. (They were once street cats too and saw me bring her home in the cat carrier, sniffed, and seemed okay with the new baby of the house.)
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19-07-2022, 09:05 AM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,813
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Good afternoon Still_Waters
Even the the smallest of things can show you a lot
Enjoy your new fur baby
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Have fun and enjoy
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