hi, peace and love, everyone!

[darkerthenight]

I'm glad to finally join this forum and well, currently (for the past couple of years) have been going through darker times - especially within the last year. I quit my job last year due to chronic, physical symptoms. I sought out all sorts of help from professional healthcare providers to alternative medicine and even spiritual healers. I took all sorts of supplements and yet, to no avail.

To try to keep it short and sweet, I have chronic/adrenal fatigue syndrome and I guess my body gave up on me. I haven't been able to work again due to loss of energy, poor sleep (condition doesn't improve with more or less sleep either) and inability to do even the simplest tasks without being stressed out, drained or feeling overworked. My memory seems to have gone bad and after a lot of contemplation and reflection, I was lead to all sorts of realizations about myself.

I realized that I "hated" who I was, what I did, what I liked and whatnot. The kind of person I was in the past led me to making so many mistakes that I find to be unforgivable in the present day. I grew to become very shameful of myself. Back then, I was an eye for an eye type of person. I felt like I had to get even whatever the means. Only to find out the joke was on me, and now I have to pay a big price - a price that is beyond me to pay.

I used to put the blame on my external environment. Everything switched in the most unpredicted way and all of a sudden I started pointing at myself. Ever since then, my health started deteriorating and I've been facing what I guess most would call "the shadow self".

It really has been difficult, and I'm sure many of you as I have read in some of the introductions are also going through a tough time.

I hope to become optimistic again and know that with the right mindset, we can rise above anything. It's definitely easier said though!

Would love to get to know you guys and hopefully will come across useful information and connections that may help me through my journey.

[Bright Light]

Hello fellow newbie,

Welcome to the forum! It's brave of you to share your journey, and I'm glad you've have found a space where you can connect with others who might understand what you're going through. Chronic fatigue syndrome and the associated challenges sound incredibly tough, I imagine especially when it feels like every effort to improve doesn’t bring any relief.

It’s also really insightful that you've been reflecting deeply on your past and how it affects your present. Acknowledging feelings of shame and regret is a significant step, and it's commendable that you're facing these emotions head-on and trying to remain positive. :)

Healing, whether physical or emotional, is rarely linear. It can be frustrating when progress seems slow or nonexistent, but being part of a supportive community can make a huge difference. I hope you find some comfort and useful advice here.

Your optimism and determination to adopt a positive mindset are inspiring. Remember, small steps forward are still progress. You're not alone in this, and we're here to support you along the way. Looking forward to getting to know you better and seeing how we can all help each other through our individual journeys.

Feel free to direct message me if you ever want to talk :) or we can all try to help bring optimism in the forums :)

Take care,

Light and love

BL

[darkerthenight]

Hello there and I appreciate the warm welcome, BL! Thank you for your offer and I'll definitely take you up on that :)

And yes, I love the idea of helping each other through our journeys, it's really great to know none of us are alone. Also, I can't help but notice the optimism in your name as opposed to mine :P Another realization, thanks to you