Relationships

[Starman]

Relationships are the most important thing on this planet and there is no way that you can not have a relationship. Most people just think about relationships with other people but what about the relationship which we have with ourselves. Everything on this planet is having a relationship.

How we relate to the weather, the air, water, the food we eat, the planet itself, and birds, other animals, even plant life and insects, relate to their environment and each other, especially within their own species; just as human beings do with other human beings.

We can learn how to have human to human relationships by being sensitive to all of the non-human relationships which we have. Relationships are a connection; it is making contact with someone or something regardless whether that someone or something is pleasant or unpleasant.

Human beings attract other human beings, and animals, into their life by their subliminal presence; meaning their vibration, thoughts and emotional output. Attraction is mostly subliminal. It may even be called “chemical” or chemistry. On a sublime level the decision is made regarding the connection before we even think about it.

Some time ago I had to ask why am I attracting the people in my life that I am attracting, a certain kind of person kept showing up in my life inviting me into a close relationship. Initially it felt good but that was only one part of the relationship, soon to discover many other parts that were not pleasant.

It does not matter how much investigation we do, people change, we change, and if people change and grow together the outcome may be different than changing an growing a part. Relationships take work, work on ourselves and on the relationship. Sometimes people just do not want to do the work.

Abusive relationships are common worldwide, and some people stay in an abusive relationship for whatever reasons while others have to plan and plot their exit. Abuse is all about control; we all have a power within ourselves and abuse is about taking another person’s power. Usually abusers are very insecure people, nonetheless, I don’t think anyone should remain in an abuse relationship, because it normalizes the abuse.

I feel trust is the most important thing in a relationship. In a family trust is often thought of as natural. You trust these people because they are blood relatives or someone who has indicated that they will take care of you. But it does not always work out that way in families. Its like trusting a police officer, doctor, or some in authority who betrays that trust.

Trust in a non-family relationship is a lot different. We say we have to get to know that person before we can trust them. But do we really get to know anyone, even after many years or decades a couple may still be learning new things about their partner. So I would say basic trust which at its core means honesty. But how honest should you be with your partner? If you knew telling them something would deeply hurt them is it okay to be dishonest to protect them?

I started this thread to generally talk about relationships, human or otherwise. I say otherwise because there are a lot of people who say they get more love from their pet, dog or cat, than they do, or did, from a close relationship. I think everyone has something to contribute, and I will not play analyst or therapist here. If no one wants to chime in, that’s fine I will not take it personally. We each have our own valid perspective and we never know in a forum like this who may benefit from that perspective.

[Luminary]

So many things you've shared resonate with me and a lot of it is a fresh take on which I had not exactly thought. Something I want to ponder is right out of the gate - that "relationships are the most important thing on the planet." I have thought something similar, that Love is. I see Love as being conscious and intelligent. I love how you include relationships with everyone and everything, including oneself. I'd not thought about relationships with things, but it makes perfect sense. Love is abundant as I see Her and we don't have to look far to see it if we have clear vision (this suggests objective truth and in all honesty, I hold no certainty of such things). This is something I'm only recently seeing. I see and recognize Love in you, that intimate understanding of Love so fragrant of Her essence.

"We can learn how to have human to human relationships by being sensitive to all of the non-human relationships which we have." This is really giving me food for thought. Wow. If you could expound on that, I'd love to hear more.

"Human beings attract other human beings, and animals, into their life by their subliminal presence; meaning their vibration, thoughts and emotional output. Attraction is mostly subliminal. It may even be called “chemical” or chemistry."
In physics like attracts like. and I've thought our 3D manifestations as reflecting spiritual phenomena. But "chemical" - I'm thinking now of some nature shows I've watched and some ideas about energy. Wow.

"On a sublime level the decision is made regarding the connection before we even think about it." Something I notice here is in the wording - "the decision" implies choice to me. I'm coming to discover my inner power and unconscious choices I have made. Specifically in human connection and with intentionality, I am more consciously making decisions in Love, including myself.

"I feel trust is the most important thing in a relationship."
I would say Love is and that trust is a part of that. Six of this, half dozen of the other. If you have more thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them.

And this I love: "We each have our own valid perspective and we never know in a forum like this who may benefit from that perspective." I've been coming to view my perspective as just one valid among many. I think Love sees us with incredible honor, respect and dignity, great and small, and I try to take a peek through other lenses. Sometimes it's hard when I see someone's beliefs as serving suffering, but often it's at least understandable given temperament, environment, and so many other factors. In Love, there is freedom from judgement as I see it. That is, of the object or person. I try to give others complete freedom to be who they are and to do what they need to do maintaining love for myself. I used to build a lot of walls when a simple, creative and loving boundary would do.

Hope you reply. Love, comfort and safety to you, blessing, happiness, prosperity and all Love's good.