Feeling tainted by long-term exposure to 'friends'

[Rael1974]

I'm 61 now and in the space of the past 8 years I have consciously cut two very important people out of my life, something I never imagined I'd do, having finally brought into the light their subtly vile animosity towards me across 50 years or so. One of them, my sister, has succumbed to a dark, delusional and insane jealousy towards me and towards my relationship with our Mum. The other, my erstwhile best friend since the age of 6, I discovered to be a revolting sort of black hole of a person, a dark and ineffably mean character who as a chess player treats every contact with others (even close friends) as a petty game of ego v ego in which he never lets his guard drop. All behind a mild-mannered affable exterior yet constant and unchanging. Both these horrors are the sign of Aries. I'm aware of course that this sounds sort of odd, yet I sense they are ENEMIES of mine in a primal, spiritual sense. I have done well to rid myself of them both but it took decades before my mind's eye resolved them in their true light. It's painful and confusing now thinking of the legacy and damage caused. I have always been intensely sensitive to other people (in every sense) and now I feel 'stripped' and 'depleted' by them. Can I restore myself with work on my aura and/or chakras? I need to repair myself and restore my protections. Could anyone out there with knowledge of this delicate subject please advise me where to go with this?

[Starman]

Hi Rael1974, Welcome to Spiritual Forums. I am in my late seventies and have gone through similar circumstances with friends and family. Some of them cut me out of their life while others I let go of whom I felt were too toxic. The amazing thing is that I hung around with some of these toxic people for 30-years or more and endured their abuse.

People come and go in our life for whatever reasons; we are all on a journey, including those who I may have rejected. In time I grew to have compassion for them as well. But when we are close to someone, especially family members, there is an emotional withdrawal which we may go through.

That emotional withdrawal is similar to a drug withdrawal, even though the drug may have been bad for us, we may still go through withdrawal from it. I feel it is necessary to process what we go through and not look for an instant fix. I have been doing meditation for almost 50-years learning how to quiet my mind.

Quieting my mind regularly has helped me restore and regain my balance and emotional comfort from upsetting situations. What you are going through right now is an opportunity to consciously grow. Meditation automatically worked on my charkas. But I coupled my meditation with spiritual development.

A holistic approach in my opinion is better than just looking at one thing like our charkas. Chakras will automatically fall into place if we take care of our mind, body, and spirit. Understand that you can not change other people, you can only change your self.

Don’t look for reasons; you may ruminate about this for years to come but it is important not to let it dominate you. Look for inner peace, and that will only come when you learn how to let go. Letting go is a process, healing is a journey. Cry, grieve, and give healing time to work. These people were part of your life for decades, don’t expect to instantly get rid them.

[Rael1974]

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful advice. I now realize that I did not fully explain myself. My hurt and regret at their imposture occurred months and years ago. However, I suspect that exposure to these individuals caused 'soul damage' that cannot be healed by time, meditation, mindfulness, or other legitimate techniques. In my worldview, a kind of 'soul loss' has been perpetrated upon me—a result of all forms of contact with these 'spiritual vampires'. These people I've encountered on life's pathways were not merely flawed human beings or weaklings; they were 'evil avatars' doing Satan's work among humans. Beings intent on evil with no love in their hearts but self-love. Perhaps 'psychopath' would be another word for them, but I believe they are not just feeling-less; they are possessed by something old, snub-nosed, and evil. I know how that sounds, and I'm writing it almost with a wry smile myself, but the hard-won evidence from key times of revelation around these people has led me to this ineluctable conclusion. It might sound like I need an exorcist, but the 'taint' I feel from these individuals is like a 'spiritual flu' that I cannot escape through normal means. It's heavy stuff but comes from the heart. What are your thoughts?

[Omnicentrik]

I am just a year younger and have had these revelations about many people in my life, close and not so close, and then more generally.

I have seen and discussed the "people have changed" or maybe "unmasked" theme, and it appears to be common in sensitive people who tend to be genuine, and assume everyone else is too.

Likewise, I am aware that there are many people who think in terms of chess-games, power dynamics and manipulation, including a "category" that is into psychic phenomena and occultism (even if concealing it) because they see an advantage in manipulating people.

In hindsight, it appears to me that much of this kind of thing is a result of the disappointed individual already maturing their discernment and consciousness. Perhaps it happens subliminally at first, so that the feedback with the other shifts and the former relationship is revealed as not what it appeared.

Sometimes life stresses affect people who then adapt and cannot sustain the dynamics of the relationship as it appeared to be.

And sometimes something inside of us is telling the rest of us that it's time to look at the world and the self more deeply, even if it will seriously rock the cushions of comforting ignorance we have grown to depend upon.

My point is that a negative revelation like that is a wake-up call, and maybe the new state of discernment will reveal more of the other side of the coin: others who could not be drawn into one's life or recognized if they were because of the former status quo.

I can't speak for anyone's destiny or outcomes, but believe it is safe to say that it can be an opportunity for further revelations. The thing about revelations in esoteric growth is that they act like bridges that allow us to cross formerly blocked areas of consciousness, including heart, and experience.

[Omnicentrik]

Sorry for double-posting, but I don't think I can edit. I just read your last post more thoroughly, and wanted to add that relationships at a deeper karmic level can be agreements to cover the wounds of our inner being in a mutual way.

So people form a bond that need not be intimate or long-term, but may be. That bond is tuned so the soul loss one is born with is compensated by someone's presence, who in turn gets something from the individual benefiting from them.

It may be a bit of the same, or life force and well-being that does not come naturally to the other person and needs the one with a more sensitive and more likely wounded soul.

When circumstances change, however, the deal breaks and life drama expresses that release. It may be hard to digest, but I think the soul will learn to breathe now that the artificial support is taken.

Sometimes self-hatred or self-judgment beneath our current persona's consciousness is lodged and reflects its presence through the others acting it out.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Hello Rael1974.

The way I see it, each soul acts as of its level of development and knowing no better, can do no better. With this recognition, we look at spirit, not outer form. This makes us acceptant and mindful. We strip off expectations and hence feel no sense of injury on belied expectations.

This said, there is no need to trauma bond. We need to love and respect ourself as well as the other, although from the nondual perspective there are no others but that’s another story.

In my view, life as we experience it in linear time, it has already been impulsed as of soul agreements in place (hence the need to thank the tormentor, as Miss H has said above). So, from each adversity we face, we should emerge stronger, more evolved, more love enabled, vision widened, wisdom deepened.

About chakras and so on, our energy body, what we choose to be, shapes it. In other words, our moment to moment responses in waking and dream states needs to be gentled and refined. The chakras and kundalini take care of themselves.

Nothing can harm us unless we invite harm, that’s my view. Does an arrow piercing space hurt it? Vibrant emptiness is what I would advocate we become, as an ever present flowing orientation. Still, if you feel like it, there are several visualisation techniques to strengthen the aura, the violet flame being a popular one, white light, golden light … whatever resonates.

In case acceptance is not feasible, then a step down, forgiveness is essential. Ho’oponopono is a great forgiveness tool. I once wrote a poem on it, let me see if I can dig it up for you ~

Ho’oponopono

forgiveness a virtue
virtue an attribute
requiring identity
needing healing
thus choosing
forgiveness
as a tool

no matter

Ho’oponopono forgiveness prayer
has four seemingly easy steps
softening attention in silence
first of all we say ‘I am sorry’

ouch!

many stuck at the first step
conceding we have erred
making hearts asunder
for what matters the truth
if love itself stands abandoned

we pause

reflecting that we are all one
the one we love is in anguish
leap out! reach out in embrace
brooking not for an instant, delay
say, say, please say, ‘I am sorry’

load lightens

our heart begins to tremulously smile
vibrationally, we draw near our love
‘please forgive me, my dear heart’
simply know this: ‘I love you!’

then, the quietus

having stepped forward into the mist
suffused with God’s love vibrations
in gratitude we say ‘thank you!’
lingering for eternity thus

time dissolves

the void of oneness alone remains
pulsating with omnipotent power
our lower ego mind vaporises
we accept all as they are
transcending the need
to forgive, because
there is no one
here within

save love

[OldChap]

Originally Posted by Rael1974

caused 'soul damage' that cannot be healed by time

they were 'evil avatars' doing Satan's work among humans.

Perhaps 'psychopath' would be another word for them

I cannot escape through normal means. It's heavy stuff but comes from the heart.

Totally get what you are saying. Certainty not an easy situation to deal with.

Out of the billions of people on this planet have you ever perhaps ponder on why you had a very long term close relationship with two people, one being your sister and the other being your long time childhood friend?

Nothing in our personal life is ever random, coincidental, lucky, or unlucky.

Everything that happens personally to us serves the singular purpose to nudge us to become more caring, kind, and compassionate to ourselves and to others, and to then have greater peace and joy in heart and mind.

When in that better state we will have more gratitude and hence will naturally complain less, blame less, and judge others less.

Understandably, when we are in the situation it is much harder for us to see that because of our ego that instills fear, worry, suspicion, and regret in us for survival causing our minds to become restless, unease, and tumultuous.

In other words, the ego pushes us to see everything from a negative perspective just as it was designed for.

But what if we could slide that ego to the background and bring forth our divine mind that is of love which encompasses benevolence, compassion, and joy. Then we will begin to see everything from a positive perspective.

Instead of believing the two most impressionable people in your life caused you damage, change your mindset and be grateful to them for showing you what you don't want, and then work on not getting your buttons pressed so easily.

Some people talk about soul groups. Before coming in to be in the human form your soul and the other two souls had an agreement to play their human roles for your benefit as a human.

Search for the embedded lessons in your situation and synchronicity will not continue to put you in a similar situation again. Although sometimes it does just to make sure your learned lesson is permanent.

Having gratitude is the first step to a more peaceful and joyful life. Some took hundreds of human lifetimes here to achieve that, but regardless just simply do your best every lifetime and good things will follow.

In the meantime, try to remove those negative words from your thoughts. Thoughts are powerful multi-dimensional quantum energies and the universe will put us in situations to correspond with our thoughts.

And the most benevolently powerful and highest vibration multi-dimensional quantum energy is love.

Love that benevolently alters our chemistry and hence our physics to put us in a more peaceful and joyous personal reality.

Then it should be no surprise that all spiritually advance and connected human messengers here throughout the ages uniformly taught people a better way of living life that aligns with love.

Love is the Universal Truth, the way, and the life.

There is nothing more potent to cleanse your chakras or to balance yourself than having sincere love in heart and mind.

Meditation is good but it is a temporary solution. Having sincere love is the permanent solution.

It has always been about love that is the key to all our human problems.

A personal suggestion, try not to have hatred for your sister and childhood friend. Instead show them sincere love and compassion, and watch as they will slowly start to drop their old ways of treating you. Be patient.

Darkness is the absence of light which is love. Darkness recedes with the oncoming of light/love.

All the best to you to regaining peace and joy in heart and mind.

And good to keep in mind, we are not born here to suffer. We are here to generate light/love.